we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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