saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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