just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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