I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
