all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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