Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
