Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
