all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
