just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
