That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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