yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
