It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
