I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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