we're blogging at a bar
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
