it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Bring me that man meat
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
