Kiss
Puke
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
