Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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