I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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