it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
