puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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