Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
