New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
