No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
