he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
where are my eyebrows?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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