its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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