So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
vagina is talking i cant
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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