I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
