They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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