she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
