your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
