He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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