she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
