is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
