That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
