This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
