You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
