a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
