I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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