There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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