Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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