We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
