i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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