He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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