A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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