Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
