We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
