dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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