I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
