that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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