We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
